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Asking for Self, Female, 31 years old, Lahore
I am 31 years old and unmarried and i have been rejected 28 times in the past few years by the rishta people , no one likes me the prospects rishta people just come ask questions and go away this whole process of presenting myself in front of people has destroyed my personality my confidence level has become 0 now i cant talk to new people i get nervous , although i was a gold medalist in my university but now i feel like a loser at times i feel i am a circus animal who is presented in front of unknown people for approval i have started disliking myself i dont feel like getting well dressed now i always feel now that im not good enough, what should i do to get rid of these problems
we need to get proper assessment of the problem so kindly see us in clinic
Yes there are certain situations in our life because of which anyone can feel depressed. U can book my online consultation appointment for detailed assessment and treatment
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Muhammad Fayyaz
Make a conscious decision Not to think about how many times you have been rejected...maybe those rejected you don't deserve you?
Welcome and sorry for late reply, i can understand your condition the way you have been treated and been neglected, let me ask you a question that are you really neglected by the Rishta , which you have truly validated and started believing that no one like you because or Rishta rejection, do you think that your life depends upon others opinions? This is called dysfunctional assumptions which are depressive negative thoughts being develop during life events, and due to the critical events in our life our dysfunctional belief become activated and we start overgeneralizing and have negative thought for environment that "no one likes me", about self that " i am the guilty or responsible" and about the world as a whole that" this world is hostile place to live" . and vicious circle starts!!!!. who else rejected you? like your mom, dad, brother, sister, your best friends, your teachers when you got the gold medal? test your negative thoughts in the reality and ask again that "are you not good enough" or the other's thought and behaviors are not good enough to match you, who rejected you. every one has right to approve or reject, this is their perspective that doesn't mean that the person is bad, life is not depends upon the assumptions, life is like ups and downs, and how do you deal with, this is life, Dear you need to consult a psychiatrist for proper assessment and treatment. Thank you
Dear Patient,
Have you ever observed a flower very keenly in a garden or anywhere else? If you observe (do try to observe keenly) you will find that a flower needs NO Public Opinion to flourish. It only needs its inner-self to flourish, that's it. Be a flower and flourish for yourself, not for others. Others will get acquaintance once you have a flowering essence. That flowering essence is missing right now in you. Why? Because you are caught in public opinion, you are evaluating yourself from others' lens /Eye/opinion. I advise you, Don't evaluate or compare yourself. God has made you unique.
Now, what you have to do? 1. Gather yourself - the way you use to gather yourself in Exams, particularly when you got Distinction, recall that time, how you gathered yourself and focused your mental energy towards achievement, which was unknown to you at that time, is it? Do it again this time too.
2. Reinvent yourself - Be a winner in the game of MIND. your mind is trapping you towards depression/anxiety/meaninglessness-of-life. But you have to defeat your mind and come up with Positive Attitude of Reinventing yourself. Spend your time observing natural things like Flowers (how do they invent themselves from seed to sprout) water, sky and all-natural creaturs which has a silent message for you.
Nature gives everyone a fair chance to live in peace & prosperity, avail this chance by channelizing your mental energy towards a peaceful life. May God be with you!.
M.A Philosophy, PhD (Cognitive Science) | Multan | Book Appointment
You can consult via Marham Online.
4 years ago
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