Talk to Urologist on Left Side Vericoile Pain In Testicles

i have vericoile grade 1 on the left side testicle for the past 6 months or more and i am having dull pain in both testicles and pain also goes back to the tail bone and sometimes left leg and sometimes right leg and sometimes thighs and inner thighs. the pain is dull but constant. i am very depressed due to this and i can not focus on anything or do any and i am thinking of killing myself to stop the pain. i think there is no way out of it. if treatment is not possible can someone please suggest me the best way to end this misery once and for all.